Photo Credit: Lauren Masser By: Pierce Landon
Guest Writer
So it’s 2020, and it’s no secret that relationships today are completely different
compared to relationships a few generations ago. The world of dating has evolved
and it’s important to take note of the many rules and recommended suggestions
relating to modern-day dating. So to provide some insight on the topic, as someone
who personally hasn’t dated yet, I’ve decided to compile a list of what stands
out to me as the biggest do’s and don’ts when it comes to dating based on
what broken-up people have told me about their failed relationships.
Guest Writer
So it’s 2020, and it’s no secret that relationships today are completely different
compared to relationships a few generations ago. The world of dating has evolved
and it’s important to take note of the many rules and recommended suggestions
relating to modern-day dating. So to provide some insight on the topic, as someone
who personally hasn’t dated yet, I’ve decided to compile a list of what stands
out to me as the biggest do’s and don’ts when it comes to dating based on
what broken-up people have told me about their failed relationships.
1. Remember who you were before the whole “love” thing
I know it’s easy to get wrapped up in the blanket swaddling that is love; but the truth of the matter is that most relationships that last consist of people who complement each other’s personality, not people who solely depend on each other for something they couldn’t find on their own. It’s when relationships become less like a romantic friendship and more like an unhealthy obsession that ugly breakups occur. It’s also just better for your life as a whole and for your friends’ relationships with you. If you remember who you were before you completely committed yourself to “love,” then your life will benefit from having both a thriving relationship with whomever you’re dating and still holding on to all your friends and your independent life that still should be a major priority, which leads me to the next do/don’t …
2. Make time for everyone that matters to you
Now this is something I heard from nearly everyone I asked about what to do and what not to do when you’re dating someone. There’s nothing worse than all of a sudden having to fight for your best friend’s attention. It puts a lot of strain on friendships and romantic relationships. So I can’t stress this point enough: remember to make time for the people who matter to you. That is unless you want to be in the market for a new best friend.
3. Don’t be a cheater
Ok so I don’t really think I need to go too deeply into this one. It goes without saying that if you cheat on your special someone, you can’t get too shocked when they all of sudden wish they never met you. I know it’s easy to get distracted by something new and flashy, and something new is desirable every now and then, but it’s important to think about the actions you make not only with what you want in the moment, but with what you want in the future. If unfaithful relationships are what you want in your future, then go for it. But for those who think love means something more, cheating just isn’t all that great.
4. Don’t do it for the wrong reasons
This actually is a great bridge from my third Do/Don’t about not being a cheater who’s in it for some short-term goals. Now, I understand that there should be a certain level of physical attraction in any romantic relationship. But let’s be clear that there is a definitive difference between a date and a hook-up. If two people are only in it for something physical, then I seriously doubt their “relationship” will last. That’s like making a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich but only because you want peanut butter. You don’t really want the whole sandwich but you make a whole sandwich while you’re there, even though you just want the peanut butter.
5. Communicate
While in reality it’s the key to almost everything, communicating is another major point to mention whenever we’re talking about relationships that actually plan on working. It’s key to always be on the same page with your significant other even if that’s just talking about each other’s days. Being involved shows that you’re trying to be a meaningful part of their life, just as you’d like them to do the same for you. Couples that don’t communicate lose sight of what brought them together in the first place, and no amount of physical attraction can replace a lack of communication.
To briefly conclude, relationships can be great things. They can bring a lot of light and love into our lives no matter what or who they are between. But with all the joy that can come from love, there is an equal amount of responsibility and work to make sure that it’s not all for nothing. So if you’re actually still reading my article, just know that even with all my suggestions and recommendations on how you should date, no one, not even I, can tell you how to love.
I know it’s easy to get wrapped up in the blanket swaddling that is love; but the truth of the matter is that most relationships that last consist of people who complement each other’s personality, not people who solely depend on each other for something they couldn’t find on their own. It’s when relationships become less like a romantic friendship and more like an unhealthy obsession that ugly breakups occur. It’s also just better for your life as a whole and for your friends’ relationships with you. If you remember who you were before you completely committed yourself to “love,” then your life will benefit from having both a thriving relationship with whomever you’re dating and still holding on to all your friends and your independent life that still should be a major priority, which leads me to the next do/don’t …
2. Make time for everyone that matters to you
Now this is something I heard from nearly everyone I asked about what to do and what not to do when you’re dating someone. There’s nothing worse than all of a sudden having to fight for your best friend’s attention. It puts a lot of strain on friendships and romantic relationships. So I can’t stress this point enough: remember to make time for the people who matter to you. That is unless you want to be in the market for a new best friend.
3. Don’t be a cheater
Ok so I don’t really think I need to go too deeply into this one. It goes without saying that if you cheat on your special someone, you can’t get too shocked when they all of sudden wish they never met you. I know it’s easy to get distracted by something new and flashy, and something new is desirable every now and then, but it’s important to think about the actions you make not only with what you want in the moment, but with what you want in the future. If unfaithful relationships are what you want in your future, then go for it. But for those who think love means something more, cheating just isn’t all that great.
4. Don’t do it for the wrong reasons
This actually is a great bridge from my third Do/Don’t about not being a cheater who’s in it for some short-term goals. Now, I understand that there should be a certain level of physical attraction in any romantic relationship. But let’s be clear that there is a definitive difference between a date and a hook-up. If two people are only in it for something physical, then I seriously doubt their “relationship” will last. That’s like making a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich but only because you want peanut butter. You don’t really want the whole sandwich but you make a whole sandwich while you’re there, even though you just want the peanut butter.
5. Communicate
While in reality it’s the key to almost everything, communicating is another major point to mention whenever we’re talking about relationships that actually plan on working. It’s key to always be on the same page with your significant other even if that’s just talking about each other’s days. Being involved shows that you’re trying to be a meaningful part of their life, just as you’d like them to do the same for you. Couples that don’t communicate lose sight of what brought them together in the first place, and no amount of physical attraction can replace a lack of communication.
To briefly conclude, relationships can be great things. They can bring a lot of light and love into our lives no matter what or who they are between. But with all the joy that can come from love, there is an equal amount of responsibility and work to make sure that it’s not all for nothing. So if you’re actually still reading my article, just know that even with all my suggestions and recommendations on how you should date, no one, not even I, can tell you how to love.